BellaMemoirs

Weird or introvert?

So in my blog journey I felt, I just need to stop blogging, every topic I think about pertains to my feelings towards the subject, my thoughts, my emotions, like an all about me…shouldn’t I write something that appeals to the reader’s attention? Well my mom tagged me in a post, and it made me realize why I think the way I do, it made me understand myself, and my life in a new perspective. (lol more all about me…kind of) I am an introvert, and introverts “are people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their thoughts and emotions.” – Carl King.

Let’s give a few facts about introverts, and clear some of the myths…

Introverts are weird! (Weird to you! Yeah.) So this guy tells me I’m eccentric…I accepted it as yeah I know I’m weird. I’ve always felt like I was “weird” or “different” (because that’s what people say) nope, I’m just rare. Introverts make up 60% of the gifted population, (is that a biased opinion? Who determined what gifted is?) but only 25%-40% of the general (mainly extrovert) population, (I think I’m a little more extreme with mine so I may be a smaller percentage). We are not weird, we are just misunderstood because the population consists mainly of extroverts.

Introverts are depressed! Extroverts feel more energized among people and drained or feel lonely in an alone setting after a while. Introverts are opposite. Introverts are energized/recharged spending time alone to think in quiet places, (at home, quiet parks, libraries etc). Silence is golden. Just let me hear myself think. I’m always thinking… about something. Life, goals, feelings, why this happens, why that happens, everything. I wonder if this is the reason I’m so in love with boats. Have you ever been on a cruise and realized how relaxing and peaceful it is? I LOVE being by myself. I am 100% myself when I’m alone. I do a lot of daydreaming, thinking, writing etc. I prefer the TV off, but when it’s on I like it at a dull roar. I’ve often said I don’t know how I’ll get married, I like to be alone. Simple solution: Queen-dom (the equivalent of a man cave).

Introverts are too quiet/antisocial/shy! Small talk equals no talk in my book. What’s the point? Keep me interested when you talk or my mind will drift, engage me in conversation of substance. Let’s talk about life. Most introverts’ have social lives, love hanging and talking with friends but often need to “recharge” in their quiet place. “Being with people, even people they like and are comfortable with, can prevent them from their desire to be quietly introspective.” I am not shy, I appear quiet (at first) only because I’m trying to get a feel for you. We know more than you think, and observe more than you know. You learn a lot about a person when you observe actions and listen to them talk. Contrary to the belief “introverts don’t like to go out in public” I don’t mind going in public, not as long as the average person, but I love being out. Now when those “out activities” involve large crowds of people for prolonged times, you are darn right I’d rather be in a more intimate setting. I don’t like to go out alone though, I’ll bring one close friend. I enjoy being with my small group of friends (not all at the same time, and not all the time) but it overwhelms me with large crowds. I need to hype myself to go to the bar, parties etc, I’d prefer to go to the mall during the weekday, as there aren’t as many people there. I love my friends to death, we can talk and hang out, but they know me, I need space. My friends understand how I am, they know  there’s few people I can stand to be around. I’ve tried to be more “extroverted” more outgoing, more social. No matter how much I try, how many different approaches I take, I cannot get in with that crowd. Eventually I need to get back to that quiet place. Introverts value people, not crowds, hence my very small group of close friends.

The reason for extroverts and introverts is the way dopamine affects our brain. Extroverts have a low sensitivity to dopamine, so they require larger amounts of it, it is required for the adrenaline to process it in their brains, which is why they love parties, and larger groups of friends etc. Introverts are highly sensitive to dopamine, too much makes them feel overstimulated. Introverts use their internal cues rather than external to gain energy. My idea of fun may not be your idea of fun. I’m not bored. I just seem boring…to you. Once these introvert misconceptions are gone, and people learn to understand people as a whole, we will be better off.

Not the phone! Please! Can’t you just text me or something? I may not pick up the phone, even from people I like, but I’ll call them back when I’m mentally prepared to talk. On a good day I can talk to you for at least an hour, other days after a few minutes you can hear I’m ready to be done talking in my voice.

Introverts well organized, and are thorough in research. I thought I had a mild case of OCD or something, I need everything in a specific spot. I love to do research because I love to state facts! I’ve realized that my career needs to be stimulating and challenging, I continuously need to feed my brain, some of the tasks given to me are…well too easy. Funny I’ve felt this way and then find out introverts pick careers such as scientists, musicians, artists, poets, filmmakers, doctors, mathematicians, writers, and philosophers. Since kindergarten when asked “what do u want to be when u grow up?” It has ALWAYS been “doctor” although I’ve had to take detours I’ve never deterred from that dream.

 

To understand me is to know me. To know me is to love me.

-Bella

 

 

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