BellaMemoirs

But Who Is She?

Who Am I?
Who am I?
Is she the girl she was raised to be?
Did her supporters’ expectations fail when they noticed the weed?
Is she still Conservative? Obedient? Open?

Does she still have the insatiable determination to succeed?
Are they still proud to show you off & bring you around?
Or has their views of you been flipped upside down?

Who Am I?
Is she as strong as she was taught to be?
Tough. Disciplined. Brave. Detached.
Unavailable & Uninvested she can be.

Who am I?
Am I the woman I see in the mirror?

Is beneath my beautiful enough?
When you see me, do you see what I see?
The resilience in my hair, intelligence in my brain, the strength in my battle scars.
Or are you blinded by the “unruly” hair, large forehead, & acne discoloration?

Am I who I think I am?
Dream chaser – but is she chasing a fairy tale?
Nigga replacer – ’cause my pride won’t let me escape my shell.

An author, inspiration, entrepreneur, counselor, humanitarian, healer.
Can I give myself these titles?
Because that’s who I see when I look in the mirror.

Do you see me how I want to be viewed?
Your favorite humanitarian? A lover of all?
Thats who I think I project myself to be.
Trying to
radiate positive energy for the world to reap.
Do you see me as a bum? Hoe? Drug addict?
Do you judge me? Do you point & laugh?

On a mission, damn near she doesn’t even understand.

So many times I want people to get a certain perception of me… Lol, I’m me. Predictable in being unpredictable. I’m addicted to fitness, I have my uppity days. I can never wear makeup everyday that’s just too time consuming. I radiate strength. I rarely ever watch tv. I’m mixed w/ 1/4 ratchetness… It’s the Milwaukee in me. I’m goofy. Quickly irritated, but easily pleased. I love my natural hair. At one point, I had none. Stubborn. Brave. Eccentric. Prideful..AF. Unconventional. Sarcastic. Sweetest asshole youll ever meet. I can curse like a sailor. And pray like a saint. There is an inbetween. All I ever ask from from ANYONE is honesty, loyalty and consistency. Ima thug, but thugs are really jus turtles… Hard on the outside. I have irrational fears, or i’m totally fearless. There is no inbetween. Audacious. Rebel, with or without a cause. I go MIA wit no notice. I forget to text back, I don’t answer the phone, but I have the biggest heart. & sometimes I can be ‘selfish.’ Sometimes I’m funny. I try to make sure its facts I spit & sometimes my bluntness hurts feelings. My apologies in advance. Lol. Sorry, not sorry. I battle depression. Most times I’m victorious. I battle lupus. I’m a warrior. I love helpin people. I rarely go out, on the account…I don’t like people that much…lol + I’m pretty sure I also have social anxiety. My friends know when to invite me places. They know me. They know if its a nightclub, I may not show up, and if I do there’s a big chance I may show up in a sweater & boots. I can never hide my facial expressions. I like my music loud, I drive wit my seat on a lean, I’ll probably never argue with u. I go from 😄☺😉😜😳😔😒😣😌😂😂😥😤😠😡😎 in a matter of seconds…

I am me & I love who she is growing to be.

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3 thoughts on “But Who Is She?”

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